#007 Model, The Model

Failure and Success Go Hand In Hand

““Well, it’s all a matter of perspective.”
~James Bond

The Self-Coaching Model is the powerful tool I’ve found.

About 7 years ago I felt lost and overwhelmed in my life. I was a dad of 3 young children, a foster parents of 3-4 additional teens, and I was transitioning into a tough new job as the principal of a failing alternative school on the Ute Indian Reservation.

I wasn’t sure if I could handle all of the stress. I wasn’t sure if I could be successful as a husband, dad, foster dad, and high school principal.

I felt like I was losing control and that I was failing in every area of my life.

UNTIL . . .

. . . I found and applied the Self-Coaching Model.

The Self-Coaching Model puts YOU in control.

The most empowering thing about the model is that it gives you control. It helps you identify the things that are within your control and then helps you focus on those.

The model helps you realize how many things you can control, and how all of them are connected you YOU!

Too many of us, as parents, focus on things that are completely outside of our control. We focus on our teens and whether or not they obey, how they are thinking, how they are acting, and what others are thinking of us.

The model will help you bring your focus inward. It will help you be more results driven and future focused, rather than getting stuck in the past.

5 Components of the Self-Coaching Model

  1. Circumstances
    • Circumstances are ALWAYS neutral.
    • These are the things that happen in our lives.
    • Everyday events.
    • Things people say.
    • They are out of our control.
  2. Thoughts
    • Our thoughts are how we mentally interpret our circumstances.
    • We have roughly 60,000 thoughts each day.
    • Thoughts are both conscious and subconscious.
    • They become habitual
  3. Feelings
    • The emotions that we feel
    • Usually one word. 
      • If it’s a sentence it’s a thought.
    • No such thing as a bad emotion
    • It’s okay to experience ALL emotions
    • We can create emotions within our own bodies with our thoughts. 
  4. Actions
    • Action, or inaction
    • Often times our actions are habitual
    • When I feel stressed I often do the following actions:
      • Snap at my kids kids
      • Eat junk food
  5. Results
    • Our actions create our results. 
    • The eating of junk food gives me the result of being overweight. 
    • Yelling at my kids gives me the result that I don’t have the relationship that I am working for.

Where to start.

Don’t expect to be an expert with the model right off the bat. I have been using this for years, and I am still practicing and improving at using the model in my own life.

The best place to start is to start becoming aware of the emotions that is most prominent in your life from day to day. As you increase awareness of this emotion or feeling, you can explore and become more aware of the thoughts that are creating this emotion.

Increasing awareness is a great place to start.

Join the 5 Day Be The Change Challenge

If you haven’t yet, join our FREE Be the Change Challenge. Each day we will be doing simple 5-10 minute daily exercises to help give you a powerful perspective on your role as a parent and your ability to be the catalyst for incredible change in your life and your relationship with your teen.

  • Join the FREE Facebook Group
    • Join other parents just like you and get the support that you’ve been looking for.
  • Download the easy to follow Workbook and Exercise Guide.
    • These exercises are designed to take you just 5-10 minutes a day!
  • Start making real growth as a parent TODAY!

Join the FREE Facebook Group!

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