FREE Taming Your Emotional Monsters Training SOON!
We’re hosting a free Family Home Evening style training on Monday, October 10th, @ 6:00 pm MDT.
It’ll be fun and family friendly, so sign up to attend this training live or catch the reply by clicking the button below.
Is Fear Holding You Back?
For the month of October, our theme in the Firmly Founded Family membership is Facing Your Fears.
If you are like everyone else in the world, you have some fears.
And, if you’re like most people in this world, some of your fears are holding you back.
With teens this often looks like being afraid of not being accepted, and then making decisions based on that fear that hold them back.
Sometimes it’s a simple fear, like FOMO. The fear of missing out has lots of teens running ragged because they are trying to do it all.
Often times for parents, it’s the fear of failure.
If you’re like most parents, you’ve worried about being a failure as a parent and totally ruining your children.
You might also be afraid of your teen failing, and having to pick up the pieces.
The problem is, if you are trying to avoid your fears rather than facing them head on, your fears are holding you back.
Emotions Can’t Physically Hurt You
Everything you do as human is driven by emotion.
You’re either seeking a desired emotion, or avoiding an undesired emotion.
It’s important to understand this, because fear is one of the most common emotions that humans try to avoid.
BUT, if you and your teen can learn to face your fears rather than avoiding them, you will experience more confidence and peace in your lives.
Emotions can be uncomfortable, and even traumatizing, but they won’t kill you.
In fact, your ability to face your fears can even decrease the discomfort that comes with fear and make scary situations less traumatic!
Parenting from Fear
I’ve noticed that when I parent from fear, I’m more controlling, more critical, and less compassionate and kind.
I’ve noticed that when my teens live from fear, they are less confident (duh, right? I know it’s obvious, but go with me on this) and more likely to let me control them.
I’ve noticed that fear it contagious. The more fearful I am, the more fearful my teens and family are, and the more fearful they are, the more control I have.
I want to stop this cycle.
I want to teach them how to face their fears, how to be confident, and how to be in control of their own live.
I realize this starts with me in my home, and it starts with YOU in your home.
Fear and Re-Training Your Subconscious Mind
Lately I’m on this Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind kick, and I think it totally applies to facing your fears.
Fear, like all emotions, happens on the subconscious level.
When we get into fear, it’s usually because we are not managing our mind.
Often times, fear is simply the result of how we have allowed our mind to be programed.
You don’t have to be afraid.
Nothing will ever turn out as terrible as you imagine that it could.
You are more capable than you give yourself credit for of facing your fears and moving forward with confidence.
Every time you face your fears, and intentionally BE the best version of you, in spite of your fears, you are re-training your mind.
Start practicing BEing who you want to be, even in the face of your biggest fears.
Tips for How To Face Your Fears
- Identify and Acknowledge Your Fear
- Get to know what you’re afraid of.
- Understand it.
- Acknowledge that you are afraid and that it’s okay.
- Mentally Go There
- If you are scared, you are likely focusing on things outside of your control, and you are likely catastrophizing.
- Understand that and mentally go there.
- Picture yourself experiencing the thing that you fear.
- Decide Who You Want to BE In The Face of Your Fear
- This is hard, but explore who you want to be in the face of your fear.
- See yourself BEing that way in the face of your fear.
- Understand why you want to be that way.
- Explore How That Way Of BEing Would Apply To Your Best Case Scenario
- Once you’ve identified who/how you want to be in the worst case scenario, your fear, see how that would serve you in the best case scenario.
- How does this way of being apply to both scenarios?
- Practice BEing The Parent Of Your Dreams
- Now, get back to reality and practice BEing the parent of your dreams.
- This doesn’t make the fear go away, but it gives you a guide for how you want to be.
- This shifts your focus back to the one thing you can control, YOURSELF!