Why Don’t People Change?

Everyone wants to change!
But, very few people actually create the change that they are looking for.
Why is that?
Why don’t people change; or, why don’t people create the change that they are looking for?
Today we’re going to explore 2 things.
What keeps people from change, in general?
. . . And, . . .
What’s keeping YOU from changing?
What Keeps People From Changing?
This is a big question and a very powerful question.
I’m just going to share my top 10 things that keep people from changing.
This isn’t an all inclusive list, but these are some of my favorites.
- Identity
- It’s hard to BE someone you don’t believe you can be!
- You are who you believe you are.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- How does this change conflict with my identity?
- Moms who identify as a “yeller” have a hard time stopping the habit of yelling.
- How does this change conflict with my identity?
- Benefit
- It’s hard to change if you want to continue getting the benefit of the old way.
- Everything we do, we do because of a perceived benefit.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- What benefit am I getting from this old way of BEing?
- It’s hard to lose weight if you’re too attached to the benefit of comfort and relaxation.
- What benefit am I getting from this old way of BEing?
- Desire
- It’s hard to change if you don’t really want to change.
- My least favorite people to coach are the people who don’t want to change. They’re usually getting coaching because their parents or spouse wants them to change.
- If you don’t want to change, you won’t change.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- If I don’t want to change, why not?
- What do I want to do instead of changing?
- Comfort
- Comfort doesn’t create change.
- In fact, comfort often stifles change.
- It’s natural to seek comfort. We are hardwired to seek comfort.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- What will my life look like in a week, month, year, 5 years, 20 years if I stay in comfort?
- What will my life look like in a week, month, year, 5 years, 20 years If I leave comfort?
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- Lack of Belief
- Most people don’t truly believe that they can change.
- When people don’t choose to work with me, the #1 reason is because they don’t believe it will work for them, because they don’t believe in themselves.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- If I did believe I could change, who would I BE and what would I do?
- Then BE that and DO that!
- Choice
- Most people don’t consciously choose to change.
- Change is a choice!
- Choose to change.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- What choices would create change in my life?
- Values
- Your values create your reality.
- If you want to change your reality, you’ll have to change your values.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- What values would create new results in my life?
- Commitment/Buy-In
- Commitment and Buy-In are undervalued.
- How committed are you to creating change? How bought in are you?
- One of the reasons I charge people to work with me is because it increases commitment and buy-in.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- On a scale of 1-10, how committed am I?
- What would help be be more committed/bought-in?
- Trying to Change from the Outside In
- Most people try to change from the outside-in.
- You can only create change from the INSIDE-OUT!
- Outside-In = Focus on things outside of your control.
- Inside-Out = Focus on things within your control.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- What am I trying to change that’s OUTSIDE of my control?
- What’s something WITHIN my control that I can change?
- Trying to Force Change
- This one is huge!
- Most people try to force change.
- Rather than forcing it, simply allow the change to happen.
- Creating change is like planting a seed. Once it’s planted, do you part (water and fertilize it) and then allow the seed to do its own thing.
- If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
- Why am I trying to force this?
- How could change naturally take place on its own?
What’s Keeping YOU From Changing?
The truth is, the thing keeping you from changing is . . .
. . . You probably already guessed it . . .
. . . It’s YOU!
I’m a very good life coach, but I can’t create change in your life.
Only YOU can create the change that you are looking for.
If you want help, I can help you.
I can teach you how to simply start BEing the parent of your dreams!
I can help you connect with your teen, right where they are, and start having the relationship you’ve always wanted, starting TODAY!
I can help you grow and develop skills that will help you BE the parent of your dreams.
BUT, it starts with you!
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