#140 – The Fear of Not Being Good Enough

Both Teens and Parents Struggle with This, Including Me

Do you ever worry that you’re not good enough?

I recently heard that one of the biggest fears that hold people back is the fear of not BEING good enough.

As I look back on my life as a teenager, and even my life now as a life coach, I can see how the fear of not being good enough has plagued me from time to time.

Comparison Feels Like Not Being Good Enough?

Recently I was at a business event with my favorite business partner ever, my wife.

At this event, there were coaches who were more established than me, more “successful”, more outgoing, making more money, and more confident than me.

Every time I compared myself to someone else, I worried that I wasn’t good enough.

If you worry that you’re not good enough, you’re probably comparing yourself to someone or something else.

You might be comparing yourself to other parents, to your friends, or maybe even to a mythical version of yourself that doesn’t even exist.

The problem with comparison is that it is never accurate and it is often the reason you feel like you’re not good enough.

Worry About What Others Think

Another thing that might be making you feel like you’re not good enough is worrying about what others think about you.

Recently I spoke to a high school swim team.

One of the things the girls told me was, “I’m constantly anxious because I don’t want to disappoint my parents.”

This anxiousness was holding her back from swimming to her full potential.

Because she was focused on what her parents may or may not be thinking about her, she often didn’t swim as well as she thought she should have.

She was worried about not being good enough, and that was causing her to not be good enough in her mind.

You Are BETTER Than Good Enough

The other day I was speaking with someone and she told me that she had heard someone say, “You are the perfect parent for your children, and your children are the perfect children for you.”

I think she is right on.

You ARE the perfect parent for your teens, in all your imperfection.

And, your teen is the perfect teen for you, in all their imperfection.

Trust that you are actually better than good enough.

You are perfectly matched for your teen, and when you trust this, you will start to see evidence of this all over.

Whether You Are “Good Enough” or Not is Dependent on Your Stories

Henry Ford is famous for saying, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right,”

The same principle is true here. Whether you think you are “better than good enough” or you think you’re not good enough – you’re right.

So, you might as well shift your focus to find evidence that you are awesome!

Your brain finds what you look for.

If you think you’re not good enough, your brain is going to show you all the things that you think are not good enough about you.

If you think that you are better than good enough, your brain is going to show you all the things that you are doing that are amazing.

You get to choose where you place your attention.

Practice Believing that You are Better than Enough.

You truly are better than simply being good enough.

You are amazing.

You are perfectly imperfect, or imperfectly perfect, either way, you are just the way you are supposed to be.

Does that mean that you have no room for growth?

Of course not. But it does mean that you can stop trying to grow and improve because you think you’re not good enough.

Practice appreciating things about yourself.

Seriously, what makes you special and unique?

What gifts do you have that no one else has?

Practice seeing your value.

Join Me for a Transformational Conversation

I’m going to be hosting another live Transformational Conversation, and I want YOU to join me.

If you have a relationship that you want to improve, you need to better understand how YOU are the creator of your relationships with others, especially your teenager.

Having a transformational conversation is more powerful than simply listening.

Conversations engage the mind. They help you take new thoughts and beliefs to a deeper level.

Come have a transformational conversation with me and other parents just like you, and let’s create some new and powerful beliefs in your parenting in 2023.

This transformational conversation will be live over zoom, face to face, on Wednesday, February 15th at 12:00 pm MST.

Click the button below to find out how to join the conversation.

FREE Transformational Conversation about Relationships

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