My Favorite Things to Teach
I want to walk you through my 10 favorite things to teach parents.
In fact, these principles are not only my favorite things to teach, but the things that the parents I work with consistently tell me have had the most impact on their lives.
So, over the next several episodes, you’ll get access to my top 10 favorite principles.
And, I’m going to teach them in the order that I think would be most beneficial to you.
Your Triggers are YOURS!
Okay, this is something new that I’ve been teaching.
It’s come up recently because I’ve had a few people tell me that I either trigger them or I have triggered them.
Then, there was a post on Facebook with a bunch of coaches talking about coaching phrases that are triggering, and that all coaches should basically stop using any of those phrases so that they don’t accidentally trigger their clients.
In addition to this, I here teens and some parents blaming others for “triggering” them.
So, here is my sometimes unpopular opinion on triggers; and I should probably preface this with a TRIGGER WARNING: you might find that my opinion triggers you.
Alright, now for my sometimes unpopular opinion:
Your Triggers are YOURS!
Now, I don’t mean this in a disrespectful way or to be rude.
In fact, though your triggers are yours, you picked them up once upon a time, subconsciously, some of them when you were very young.
And, triggers aren’t necessarily bad.
They’re just uncomfortable, and if you’re like most people, you probably try to avoid them as much as possible.
And, I should add, just like your triggers are yours, other people’s triggers belong to them.
It is not your job to manage somebody else’s triggers, their thoughts, their feelings, or their reactions; it’s theirs.
But, that doesn’t mean that you should totally be insensitive and a jerk.
Be kind. Treat others with love, curiosity, and compassion.
What Does Trigger Even Mean?
For most people, when their talking about triggers, or “being triggered”, they’re usually talking about some kind of circumstance that triggers them or others.
This circumstance could be somebody else’s actions, or words, or even something outside of their control like the color of their skin, their past, or even their heritage.
The truth is still the same, triggers are circumstances that trigger a mental, emotional, or behavioral response, and probably all 3.
Typically when people talk about being triggered, it’s because it’s caused an uncomfortable and undesired response.
When I’ve been accused of triggering people, it’s usually because I said something that they don’t like because it triggers an uncomfortable emotion.
You should know this, and your teen needs to know this too, but their are people in this world trying to trigger you for their own benefit.
Don’t Take It Personally
So, when someone or something triggers you, don’t take it personally.
Sure, a person triggering you might totally be trying to be offensive, and they might be making it personal, but still don’t take it personally.
Also, if something, not a person, triggers you, notice how easy it is to take it personally.
Like, “Why does this always happen to me? It’s not fair. The universe totally hates me. Why is it raining on my birthday?”
No the universe doesn’t hate you.
It’s not raining on your birthday because it thinks you suck. It’s just part of life.
Catch yourself taking the things that trigger you personally and stop it.
Triggers Are Opportunities For Spiritual Growth
Your triggers are nothing more than opportunities for growth.
Your teen’s triggers, again, are nothing more than opportunities for growth.
This is something that I’m working on in my life right now. When something triggers me, I try to lean into it, understand it, and see the opportunity for growth.
Your triggers are the gateway for spiritual growth.
Being triggered puts you into a lower vibration, which attracts more of the same, which leads you to getting triggered more and more.
Have you ever noticed that people who have bad days, always have bad days?
People who ask, “Why does this always happen to me?” and nothing ever seems to work for them and they are constantly triggered, it’s because their not taking the opportunity to grow from the things triggering them.
They think life is happening to them, that their triggers are happening to them.
But, life doesn’t happen to you, it happens FOR you.
Your triggers aren’t happening to you. They’re happening for you.
What To Do When You’re Triggered
So, what do you do when your triggered?
Good question. That’s a deep question and something I address in my course and membership.
For now, here’s the easiest, simplest, most impactful 5 steps I’d recommend.
- Be Aware.
- Most people have no clue why they’re getting triggered.
- Most people don’t understand exactly what’s triggering them.
- Get curious and explore your triggers.
- When you notice yourself getting triggered, take on the role of the observer and watch yourself with curiosity.
- How am I feeling?
- What am I thinking?
- How am I reacting?
- Be Compassionate.
- Give yourself a brake.
- Give others a brake.
- You probably developed this trigger in your past.
- Your past self was doing the very best you could.
- Your trigger is meant to protect you.
- See the Opportunity not the Problem
- Trust, this is not happening to you, it’s happening FOR you.
- “Why is this happening for me?”
- Seek to Learn and Grow
- Be curious and look for lessons.
- Ask:
- “What lessons are here for me to learn?”
- “What are the lessons that I need in my life?”
- Be Intentional
- To be intentional you have to understand what you’re doing unintentionally so you can replace that with the intentional behavior.
- Triggers trigger an automatic, subconscious, response.
- Reprogram the unintentional response with an intentional response.
Come Join Me!
I’m going to be Live for my 3 Day Be the Change Parenting Training & TODAY is DAY 3!
It’s going to be awesome! Register and I’ll see you there.
June 8 – 12PM (MDT)
June 13 – 12PM (MDT)
June 15 – 12PM (MDT)
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