Want a Better Relationship with Your Teen?
If you’re anything like the parents that I work with, you probably want to improve your relationship with your teen.
That’s awesome, because having an impactful relationship with your teen the foundation that successful teens are built on.
The problem is, there are sneaky traps that parents get caught up in that kill their relationship with their teen, and if you’re not careful, you might be making these very same mistakes.
#1 Being “Right” All The Time
Seriously, who likes it when the other person has to be “right” all of the time?
Like, when’s the last time someone told you, “I TOLD YOU SO!”, and you thought, “Oh goody, I’m so glad I was wrong”?
NEVER!
A few years ago I realized that my desire to “Be Right” was killing my relationship with my teen.
It led to arguments and me trying to change his mind.
It lead to me rubbing it in when I was “right” and he was “wrong” and saying mean, unnecessary, things like, “I told you so.”
Being “right” is also one of the main ways of being that keeps parents in my membership from having an impactful relationship with their teen.
Want to know a secret?
If you want an impactful relationship with your teen, try letting THEM be “right” for a change.
The next time your in an argument with your teen, try this little phrase . . .
. . . “YOU’RE right.”
It doesn’t mean that you have to agree with them. You can simply say, . . .
. . . “You’re right. This should be your decision, not mine.”
Or, “You’re right. You’re opinion is just as valid as mine.”
Not only is it a powerful move when it comes to building an impactful relationship, but your teen probably won’t know what to do.
#2 Taking Control Away From Your Teen
One of the parenting traps that I talk about all of the time is the “Controlling Parent Trap.”
I’ll be honest with you. I too fall into this trap from time to time.
I try to take control over something that isn’t in my control, that’s in my teen’s control.
This is a HUGE problem because it tell your teen one of two things.
Either:
It tells your teen, …
“I don’t trust you!”
“You’re not good enough!”
“You can’t do this without me telling you how.”
…Or worse…
It forces your teen to become dependent on you for solving ALL of their problems because they were never allowed to learn from their own mistakes.
The fact is, trying to control your teen makes it hard to build a positive relationship with them!
So here’s a secret tip if you want to improve your relationship with your teen.
Give them more control over their own life.
Give them more autonomy.
Let them own their successes and their failure.
When you let go of things outside of your control, like your teen (how they think, feel, and behave), you will have more power to BE in control YOURSELF!
#3 Letting Your Teen Walk All Over You
This one is counterintuitive.
Most parents think, “If I let my teen do what they want, then they’ll like me.”
You might be right in the moment.
Your teen might even tell you just how cool you are.
But, it will kill YOUR relationship with your teen.
You’ll start resenting your teen and yourself for letting your teen walk all over you.
You’ll lose your parenting power and be at the mercy of your teen and what they want.
This is what I call the “Doormat Parent Trap.”
It’s not fun, and it’s extremely destructive when it comes to your relationship with your teen.
So, what’s the answer?
I’m so glad you asked.
Set and uphold boundaries.
Even though your teen might hate boundaries, they help your teen feel safe.
Boundaries help your teen respect you, and they set a powerful example of how to set and uphold boundaries in their own lives.
Bonus Relationship Killer, Self-Doubt
Another of the parenting traps that I often talk about is the “Lost Parent Trap.”
You’ll know you’ve fallen into this trap if you catch yourself saying things like, “I don’t know what to do.” Or, “I’m lost. I’ve tried everything and nothing works.”
The problem is, it’s human nature to avoid people who are lost, so that we too don’t get lost.
Humans are drawn to people with confidence and a clear vision and identity for themselves, and they try to avoid people with no confidence and doubt, and if you are full of self-doubt, your teen will naturally want to pull away.
Think about it, are there people in your life who are confident and know who they are? How do you feel around them. Do you like being around them?
What about people who doubt themselves? Do you avoid them.
Most people do, whether they are aware of this or not.
If you want a better relationship with your teen, trust yourself. Know who you are and who you want to be, and parent with confidence.
Not only is this a powerful example for your teen, but it’s also a powerful tool to subconsciously give your teen confidence.
FREE Teen Relationship Tune-up
If you want to take this to the next level, I’d like to give you my FREE Teen Relationship Tune-up training.
In only 15 minutes, you can completely fix your relationship with your teen.
Imagine enjoying your teen, laughing together and doing fun things together because you have an impactful relationship with them.
It’s as simple as:
- Committing to Love,
- So you can have purpose and direction in even the toughest of parenting moments.
- Respecting Their Process,
- So you can show them that you do trust them.
- Stop Trying to Control/Fix Them,
- So you can finally be in control of YOU and your parenting. And,
- Taking 100% Responsibility for YOUR relationship with them,
- So you can stop being the victim, at the mercy of your teen, and start BEING the parent of your dreams!
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