goals

It’s sad, but most people never reach their New Year’s goals. In fact, less than 10% of people actually achieve their New Year’s goals by the end of the year.

If you’re like the many people who have the goal of improving their relationship with their teen, or maybe you just want to up level your parenting this year, I want to help you win at your parenting goals.

And, if you want to be one of the 10% of people who actually achieve their New Year’s goals, I want to give you some tips on how to make that happen.

If you want to learn more about goals and habits, checkout these podcasts after you’ve finished this one.

084 DAILY HABITS FOR PARENTING SUCCESS

#135 – YOUR NEW HABITS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN NEW YEAR’S GOALS!

#157 – TOP 10 PARENTING SECRETS: #9 LIFE CHANGING HABITS

Okay, sometimes I say things that go against the main stream narrative, and this is no different.

While most people are focusing on their New Year’s goals, I’m over here preaching about the importance of HABITS.

If most people fail to reach their New Year’s goals, that’s a pretty good indicator that we’re missing something. Well, I believe that what we’re missing is habit.

So, when it comes to your New Year’s goals, I want to invite you to shift your focus from the big future goal, to the little daily habits that you’d need to accomplish your goal.

Some of questions to ask yourself to help you identify the habits you need to make your goals a reality are:

  • What habits will make achieving this goal easy?
  • If I already accomplished this goal, what are some of the habits that I’d be doing?
  • What am I willing to do regularly (maybe every day, or 5 days a week, or 4 times a month, whatever regularity is needed) to achieve this goal?

When you understand this, achieving your goal becomes much more doable. In fact, sometimes you can even forget about the goal and simply focus all of your energy on the habits.

Sometimes it’s easy to go crazy with habits. Like, I want to play basketball Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I want to life weights everyday, and I want to walk my dog, and I want to . . .

See how complicated we can make things?

If you make your habits simple, you’ll be more likely to do them. If you make them simple and powerful, you’ll be more likely to stick with them.

So, rather than the big long list of everything I want to do, I might make the simple habit of being active EVERY DAY. You could make a simple check list to make sure that you do at least one thing to be active each day. On days when you happen to do more than one, you could give yourself a simple reward.

One of my favorite and most simple and powerful habits is walking my dog. It’s simple because I don’t have to coordinate with other people. I just grab my dog and go. It’s powerful because it’s super rewarding. Walking my dog helps me feel good physically and emotionally. It’s fun. I enjoy hanging out with my dog. I get to do some of my best thinking while on our walk.

So, as you explore making habits to achieve your goals, make sure they’re simple and powerful.

I like this one because I don’t like doing anything alone. If you have an accountability partner, it’s going to be harder to give up when it gets rough. Plus, you’ll push yourself harder and your goals will be more top of mind.

There’s power in having an accountability partner that’s working towards the same or similar goals. So, maybe another mother or parent would be a great partner.

It’s also beneficial to have an accountability partner who’s already accomplished the goal your working for, so maybe a coach or a mentor.

But, there’s another kind of accountability partner that I think is underutilized, but super motivating, someone that your goal benefits beside yourself. For this, I often turn to my teens. If you have the goal of improving your relationship with your teen, and you’ve identified the habit of having 5 calm and interesting conversations with your teen each week, you might ask your teen to help you be accountable for that.

Maybe your habit is to do a thought download every night before bed, you could ask your teen to remind you and check in with you. Not only do teens make great accountability partners, they’re great at calling you our when you’re not doing something, right!?!, but it’s also an opportunity to model some powerful behaviors.

If you’re trying to create new habits, it’s going to get uncomfortable. That’s okay. Be willing to feel uncomfortable. Be willing to suck.

If you’re hoping a habit will help you accomplish a goal, it’s going to need to push you past your comfort zone.

This is exactly what you want.

When I start creating new habits, I often tell the people around me that, “I’m starting a new habit, and I might really suck at first, and I might even forget, but I’m going to struggle my way through this as long as it takes.”

That way I’m creating accountability, and committing to discomfort.

If you’ve followed me for a while, you probably have heard me say that things should be a PARTY With A PURPOSE!

This is no different.

I don’t know why so many adults want to make life so dang boring and dull.

If you want to make habits that you’ll stick with, make them fun. My favorite way to exercise is playing basketball. I like winning, so it’s fun when I’m winning, but it’s most fun when my friends show up and play.

Find ways to make your habits fun. It’s important. Not only will you stick with the habit longer, but you’ll also give it a better effort and energy if you’re having fun.

Also, when people have a hard time breaking old habits, one of the biggest reasons they struggle is because the old habit is benefiting them. Use this principle, that usually works against people trying to break old habits, in your favor.

Make your habit rewarding. If you’re getting a benefit from your habit in the form of a reward, it will be easier to stick with the habit.

This is the year. Don’t put off your goals and dreams, especially when it comes to parenting, any longer.

Go all in on your dreams. You’ve got this, and want support, I’m here for you!

Step 1 – Register for the live Ask Ben Anything webinar by filling in the form below!

Step 2 – Add the date and time to your calendar so you don’t miss out.

Step 3- Show up to the webinar with your favorite beverage (mine’s diet Dr. Pepper) and enjoy hanging out with ME!!