BE A Positive IMPACT in Your Teen’s Life

If you’re like most parents, you probably want to have a positive impact in your teen’s life.

If you don’t want to have a positive impact in your teen’s life, you’re listening to the wrong podcast.

If you’re wanting to change your teen, control your teen, or fix your teen, you’re probably not having the impact that you’d like to have on your teen, because those ways of parenting will have a negative impact on your teen.

So, I wanted to share with you the 7 most powerful things that I see IMPACTFUL Parents doing. If you’re in my membership, IMPACT, you’ve seen parents do this. In fact, you might be one of the parents that I’m referencing. If you’re not in the membership yet, this will get you started down the path of having a powerful impact on your teen’s life.

IMPACTFUL Parents Do This . . .

For 1-4 go to Episode #208

#5 Control ONLY Their Controllables

This is one of my favorite things to teach inside the membership, and it’s one of the easiest concepts to understand.

Picture this: a simple T-Chart. On top, you write down a specific circumstance, (ex. Johnny is failing math.) On the left hand side it says, “Things I CAN Control.” On the right hand side it says, “Things I CAN’T Control.” Simple, right?
Now, you go to work filling out the T-Chart. On the right hand side, you write down all the things you CAN’T control, like: I can’t control whether or not he does is homework. I can’t control whether or not he turns it in. I can’t control whether or not he sleeps through class. I can’t control whether or not he likes math. I can’t control whether or not he talks in class. I can’t control what his teacher thinks about him. And the list could go on and on.

Then we fill out the left side, what I CAN control. It might look like this: I can control whether or not I talk to him. I can control whether or not I email his teacher. I can control what I think about it. I can control how I feel. I can control how I behave.

You see, impactful parents shift their attention and their energy from things outside of their control, to the things within their control, and then they ONLY Control the Controllables!!

If you want to be more IMPACTFUL, control ONLY the controllables!

#6 Practice On the Top of The Wheel

This is one of the most underutilized practices in the world. Everyone wants to change and improve, but nobody’s willing to practice.

Being the parent of your dreams can be hard. You’re going to mess it up. So, get some more reps under your belt by practicing.

Want to be better? Practice, practice, PRACTICE! Repetition is the mother of all learning. It can be hard to change because you’re working against old programming. Creating lasting change means creating new programming. Creating new programming takes practice and developing new neural pathways.

And, make sure to practice when your at the top of the wheel. It will be easier. It will be more impactful, and it will be accompanied by more positive emotion.

Want to parent differently than everyone else? Want to have more impact? Practice your parenting during top of the wheel moments!

#7 Model the BEhavior they Want to See

Here’s a little secret that no one wants to admit, but we all know it. Your teen ISN’T listening to you, but they are WATCHING you!

The most powerful thing that you can do to have a powerful impact in your teen’s life is to MODEL the behavior you want to see in your teen’s in your own life.

BE The Change You Want to See!

One of the biggest mistakes parents make, including me, and probably you too, is demonstrating the exact behavior you want to eliminate from your teen. For example, have you ever yelled at your teen for yelling at people? Or, have you ever hit your teen for hitting a younger sibling? Or, have you ever criticized your teen for being too critical.

It’s okay if you’ve ever made any of these mistakes. It’s simply part of our herd animal programming. It natural to mirror others, which is important, so remember the idea of MIRRORING! If you’re teen’s grumpy and yelling at you, it’s natural to be grumpy right back and yell at them. This is mirroring.

BUT, if you can be intentional and MODEL the BEhavior you want to see in your teen, chances are that they will MIRROR YOU! It might not be immediately, and it might not be until they themselves are a parent, dealing with a teen who’s awfully similar to how they were as a teen, that they revert back to what they saw you do, but by modeling the behavior, you are giving them an example of how to be.

Want to parent for more impact? BE the parent of your dreams and model that behavior!

SPECIAL Bonus: Let Your IDENTITY Be Your Guide!

Last, but not least. Be aware of your identity. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Let that identity be the beacon in the distance that draws you closer, the compass that guides you along the way. Inside the membership, I teach parents how to create their own 10 Word Vision Statement for themselves to guide them in their parenting.

Take time to define who you want to be as a parent. Take time to imagine what that would look like. Visualize it and feel what it would feel like to be you. From that emotional state, move forward with action or inaction, but let your intentional emotions fuel your behaviors.

This is one of the most powerful things that impactful parents do differently!

Step 1 – Go take the parent trap quiz!

It’s free, easy, and will take you less than 3 minutes.

Step 2 – Use your quiz results to focus your energy on growing in the area indicated by your quiz results.

Step 3- Come work with me to help you up level your parenting!

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