Your Teen’s Not Listening

I hate to be the one to break this to you, but your teen’s not listening!

I know, if you’re like me and like the parents that I coach, you’ve probably noticed that your teen doesn’t really listen to you as much as you’d like, and yet, if you’re like me you probably spend way to much time trying to tell them stuff when they’re not really listening to you.

“What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become.”

~ Joseph Chilton Pearce

Fortunately, there’s a secret that most parents miss, that’s even more powerful than having your teen listen to you.

The secret is this . . .

You’re teen’s not listening, but they are watching you!

~ Ben Pugh

Your Teen IS Watching You!

I promise you, your teen is watching you.

This is one of the most empowering parenting secrets ever!

And, most parents completely miss it because they are so busy falling into the trap or lecturing, yelling, arguing, discussing, pleading, all the things just hoping that their teen will finally listen.

In today’s podcast, we’re going to talk about a few things that you’re modeling to your teen, through your behavior, that you might not be aware of.

This isn’t meant to be mean or hurtful, it’s just to help you open your awareness and understand what you’re modeling for your teen.

Once you have awareness, you now have the power to choose!

Things You’re Modeling for Your Teen, without Knowing

#1 How You Handle Stress

This one is huge. I can’t tell you how many parents have come to me asking me to help their teen better manage their stress. Then, when I talk to the parent, I learn that they struggle handling their stress too, and that’s where their teen learned it from.

This is a powerful place for you to BE The Change you want to see in your teen.

Your teen is watching you and how you handle stress. Do you rise to the occasion? Do you see yourself as bigger than your stressors? Or do you shrink in the face of stress. Do you see your problems as bigger than you?

#2 How You Manage Your Mind and Emotions

I know, this could basically cover the first one. But, it’s slightly different.

Whether you like it or not, whether you feel like you manage your mind and emotions or not, YOU ARE modeling that behavior.

This is powerful to understand. You have the power to manage your mind. You have the power to demonstrate emotional intelligence.

Most parents pass on their beliefs to their kids. They also pass on their same emotional habits. You get to choose what you’ll model when it comes to how you manage your mind and your emotions.

#3 How You Treat Yourself and Others

Again, a lot of parents have asked me to help their teen improve their self-esteem, only to find that it is the parent who needs help with their self-esteem.

How you treat yourself is the model for how your teen will likely treat themselves. How you treat them, will greatly impact how they treat themselves.

Give your teen the gift of modeling how to have a positive relationship with yourself and others.

#4 What You Value

If I were to spend about 5 minutes with you, I could give you a pretty accurate description of your top values. Your values always manifest in your results.

You are modeling your values for your teen.

Many times, your teen will learn to value your values, simply because you value them.

Be intentional about the things you value.

#5 How You Identify Obstacle and Opportunities

If you go through life seeing all the obstacles, but missing all of the opportunities, your teen will likely follow your lead and adopt the victim mindset as their main mindset.

If you practice seen the opportunities that come from the obstacles, your teen will follow your example and adopt the hero mindset as their main mindset.

You’re teen isn’t listening, but they are watching you.

Whether you realize it or not, you are a powerful example in their life.

Step 1 – Go take the parent trap quiz!

It’s free, easy, and will take you less than 3 minutes.

Step 2 – Use your quiz results to focus your energy on growing in the area indicated by your quiz results.

Step 3- Come work with me to help you up level your parenting!

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