Episode 224: The Most Powerful Relationship You Can Build with Your Teen
Disconnected Parents and Teens
One of the biggest problems I often hear from parents of teens is a lack of connection with their teen.
Honestly, I actually hear about this from teens as well, they just use different words than their parents do.
For example, a parent will come out and say, “I don’t feel like me and my teen have a good relationship.” or, “I don’t feel like we have a good connection.” Teens on the other hand say things like, “My parents don’t get me.” or, “My parents don’t even care about me.”
The truth is, both parents and teens are feeling this disconnection between each other. And, it’s not just you, and it’s not just us in the US. This is a problem parents and teens are facing all over the world.
Disconnected Parents and Teens
One of the biggest problems I often hear from parents of teens is a lack of connection with their teen.
Honestly, I actually hear about this from teens as well, they just use different words than their parents do.
For example, a parent will come out and say, “I don’t feel like me and my teen have a good relationship.” or, “I don’t feel like we have a good connection.” Teens on the other hand say things like, “My parents don’t get me.” or, “My parents don’t even care about me.”
The truth is, both parents and teens are feeling this disconnection between each other. And, it’s not just you, and it’s not just us in the US. This is a problem parents and teens are facing all over the world.
What’s Causing the Disconnect?
If you want to help me fix this problem, you need to understand what’s causing this disconnect.
It actually makes a lot of sense that parents and teens are experiencing this disconnect for a few different reasons:
- This is often the only or main message that we get from the media when it comes to parent and teen relationships. TV, movies, and social media often portray a sense of parents vs. teens.
- Parents and teens DO in fact have different values, and most parents and teens make the mistake of focusing more on their different/conflicting values than they do on the values that they actually have in common.
- A lot of parents were raised by parents who focused on the differences between parent and teen’s values, and as a result, a lot of parents were raised with a disconnected relationship between themselves and their parents. So, this is the only way they know how to connect with their teen.
Parent/Teen Disconnection Doesn’t Have to Be Your Reality
If it were true that parents and teens have nothing in common, there would be no parents who have great relationships with their teens.
If it were true that parents couldn’t repair their relationships, there wouldn’t be countless parents who have improved and completely fixed their relationships with their teens.
The truth is, there are parents all over the world who have found ways to connect with their teens and who have found ways to improve their relationships, even when they don’t agree on everything.
There’s a Better Way!
Fortunately, you and your teen have way more in common that you realize.
There’s a process I teach inside the membership called, Building Values Based Relationships.
And, if you’re like the parents I work with, when you start building values based relationships with your teen, you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll be able to repair and improve any relationship with your teen, and you’ll be surprised just how much you two actually do have in common.
Building Values Based Relationships
Inside my membership, I teach you a simple process of identifying and understanding your own values, which helps you better identify and understand your teen’s values. I then help you find ways to start connecting with your teen based on THEIR values.
If you think about it, this is actually something that children do naturally. For example, I remember sitting down to watch college football when my oldest son was just a toddler. I remember him hopping on my lap, cuddling with me, and watching football. I even remember him yelling at the TV because of a “bad” call or celebrating a good play, because that’s what he’d seen me do.
He didn’t value football at the time. He simply noticed that it was something that I valued, and he made an effort to connect with me over my value of football.
Do You Want A Better Relationship with Your Teen?
Now that you understand this, you need to ask yourself a question.
Do you want to keep feeling disconnected from your teen, or do you want to start building values based relationships so you and your teen can be deeply connected and actually feel pulled closer together?
If you want to keep feeling disconnected from your teen, that’s easy. Keep doing what you’re doing.
But, if you’re the type of parent who wants a deep, loving, relationship with your teen, and you want to find ways to empower them and connect with them, now’s the time to start building that connection by Building Values Based Relationships.
