Episode 229: The Problem with “I KNOW!”
The Problem with “I KNOW!”
Recently, I was working with a dad. He’s followed me for a long time, listened to almost all of my podcasts, and even attended some of my free trainings. On a free coaching call, when I would try to teach him some parenting principles or point out an area of misalignment, he’d say, “I know. I know.”
Now, I want to be clear. I don’t want you to believe me. Sure, that’d be nice and flattering, but then you’re limited by me and what I teach. Instead, and this is one of the things that sets me apart from a lot of other coaches, I want you to go try the principles that I teach in your own life. I want YOU to experiment with what I teach. If it works for you, great, keep it. If it doesn’t work for you, well, now you know and you can try something else.
The problem is, when you think you KNOW something, you’re no longer willing to question it and learn more. And then, what you think you know keeps you from what you need to know.
Have You Experienced This Before?
If you’re like most parents, you’ve probably noticed this problem in your teen. Maybe you were trying to give them some advice to help them prevent some future heartache, but rather than listening they simply said, “I know. I know.” and completely ignored you.
We know that teens do this all the time with their parents, but have you ever caught yourself falling into the “I know” trap?
It’s okay if you have. And, it actually makes sense. You see, it’s natural for human beings to assume that they understand or “know” more than they actually do. They make assumptions. They apply their own understanding and ways of thinking.
If you’re like most people, you think you know, without question.
The “I KNOW” Trap
The problem with the “I know” trap is that it keeps you from truly knowing.
Here’s an example. If you’re like me, you already know how to be healthier. For example, I “know” that if I ate less and exercised more, I’d be healthier.
Now, imagine I hire a health coach, and every time they try to teach me something or try to get me to try some new exercises, I say, “I know. I know.”
You see, I might “know” or understand some basic things that could help me, but if I’m not experiencing the level of health that I want, that means I don’t truly KNOW it.
In this example, it’s what I think I know that keeps me from learning what it is that I need to know.
Ditch “I KNOW” for Curiosity
If you’re not doing as well as you’d like in your parenting, there’s something you don’t know. And, if you go through your parenting experience thinking, “I know. I know.” you will miss opportunities to learn the things you don’t know that you need to know to experience the parenting you know you’re capable of.
Basically, quit thinking you know everything and be willing to try and experiment new things and new ways.
Rather than operating from the ego of “I KNOW”, start operating from curiosity and a willingness to be wrong and to try new things.
Do You Want a Better Relationship with Your Teen?
So, do you want to be the type of parent who already “knows” everything and keeps doing everything the same old way that never works, or do you want to be the type of parent who’s willing to question what you think you know and experiment new principles in your parenting?
Do you want to keep doing what you’ve been doing, that hasn’t worked, or do you want to try a new way of parenting that completely changes everything?