Episode 237: Let’s Make Parenting Teens Simple with Connection and Empowerment
Let’s Make Parenting Easy
Sometimes, people like to make things harder than they need to be. They think it makes them look smart.
But what if we could make parenting easy?
A parent I work with told me she’s read all the parenting books and listened to all the parenting podcasts. She’s doing everything “right,” but it’s still not working at home.
When she told me what she was doing, it was so hard and overwhelming. It made me feel overwhelmed just listening to her.
I know there are hard ways to control your teen’s phones and social media. There are lots of things you could sign your teen up for to help them do well. And there are so many things that parenting experts will tell you that you have to do.
BUT, in the end, YOU are the parenting expert when it comes to your teens.
And if you’re like me and the many parents that listen to this podcast, you’re probably tired of making parenting your teens too hard.
So, let’s make this easy.
Teens Need Connection
You probably already know that today’s teens are more connected than ever before with social media and the internet.
But that doesn’t mean they are feeling a real connection.
Teens tell me all the time that they feel lonely. They often say things like, “My mom and dad don’t even like me.”
I know that today’s teens need connection. I believe that teens want healthy, positive connections with good adults. Believe it or not, you can be one of those adults for your teen.
I want to invite you to find ways to parent for connection.
I suggest finding out what’s important to your teen so you can connect with them over those things. Find ways to connect with them over things they care about.
Also, find ways to connect with your teen over what makes them special. One problem I see is parents trying to make their teens more normal. Stop it. Find ways to accept your teen where they are, as they are.
Teens Need Empowerment
I feel like today’s adults have a bad habit of taking over life for their teens.
I see parents fixing their teens’ problems. I see parents protecting their teens from facing the results of their choices. I see parents controlling their teens so they don’t make mistakes.
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but this takes power away from your teen.
It’s time to take a step back and probably stop listening to what everyone else says about how teens need to do everything to be successful.
Some of the most successful people I know weren’t very successful as teens, but they took control of their lives and made some big changes.
If you want to empower your teen, start with having empowering talks.
Ask them questions about the things they’re having a hard time with. If your teen hates going to school, ask them, “If you didn’t have to go to school, what would you do instead?” Or maybe, “What do you think your life would look like now and in 5 years if you quit going to school?”
Questions like this help your teen think about things in a bigger way.
Maybe the most empowering thing you can do for your teen is to let them make choices you don’t agree with, let them get in trouble, and then let them deal with what happens.
Our teens need to be empowered.”