Stop Lying to Yourself With Your “Good Reasons”
Have you ever said something like, “I would’ve done it, but…” or “I just didn’t have the time”? These sound like totally valid reasons—but they might actually be excuses that are quietly holding you back. In this episode of the IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective podcast, I dig into the hidden danger of “good reasons” and how they keep both parents and teens stuck in a cycle of disempowerment.
I’ll share real-life stories from my coaching practice (including one about a young man who came home early from his mission) and give you practical tools to shift from excuse-making to full ownership.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
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Why “good reasons” are often just well-dressed excuses
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How these excuses disempower both parents and teens
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A powerful mindset shift from victim to hero
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How anxiety is often used as a modern-day shield
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3 practical tools to stop justifying and start owning your choices
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How to model responsibility and integrity for your teen
The Problem With “Good Reasons”
We live in a culture that loves justification. Parents, teens, professionals—we all use “good reasons” to explain why we didn’t do something hard. “I was too tired.” “I needed a break.” “I had a stressful day.” While these may feel true, they often serve as comfortable excuses that protect us from discomfort, fear, or judgment.
When we rely on good reasons, we give up our power and place the blame on something outside ourselves. We slip into victim mode without even noticing it.
A Missionary’s Story: From Excuse to Empowerment
One young man I worked with returned home early from a mission. He felt like he had to come up with a “good reason” so others wouldn’t judge him—like anxiety, depression, or health issues. The truth? He simply didn’t want to be on a mission anymore. Once he gave himself permission to own that truth without excuses, everything changed.
This shift—from needing to justify a decision to confidently owning it—moved him from feeling like a victim to feeling like the hero of his own story.
How This Shows Up in Parenting
As parents, we often make excuses too:
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“I yell because my teen doesn’t listen.”
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“I’m too busy to work on myself.”
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“I can’t connect with my teen because they’re always on their phone.”
Sound familiar?
When we make excuses for our behavior, we not only stay stuck, but we also model that same disempowerment for our teens. We teach them it’s normal to avoid hard things and hide behind justifications.
3 Tools to Break Free From Excuses
1. The Good Reason Audit
For three days, listen to the “reasons” you give yourself. Ask: Is this truth or a story? Just notice—no judgment.
2. Replace Justifications With Ownership
Instead of “I didn’t do it because I was tired,” say “I chose not to do it.” Taking ownership builds power and trust with yourself and your teen.
3. Use the Self-Coaching Model
Break down your actions by looking at your thoughts and feelings. See how your “good reasons” are shaping your results—and choose a new thought to empower action.
Choose Ownership Over Excuses
You don’t need a “good reason” to live your life the way you want. You don’t need to explain yourself or justify your choices. All you need is the courage to own your decisions and model that same strength for your teen.
When you stop lying to yourself with “good reasons,” you’ll gain something even better: your personal power.
Want more parenting tips that work?
Listen to the full episode, leave a review, and check out more tools at BenPughCoaching.com.
Follow us on social media for more insights: IG: @benpughcoaching
We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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