How to Stop Fake Parenting and Build Real Connection With Your Teen

Teens Know When You’re Being Fake

Teens complain about fake people all the time. They can spot it right away. Yet many parents still show up as fake versions of themselves.

Maybe you try to act perfect around other parents. Or you adjust how you parent so your teen will approve of you. The problem is, your teen can’t connect with you when you are not being real.

Define Who You Want to Be

One way to stop fake parenting is to define your identity. Who do you want to be as a parent?

I use a 10-word vision statement. Mine is: Parenting with love, confidence, and curiosity is easy and fun.

A short statement helps you remember who you want to be, even in tough moments. It acts like a GPS. It shows you where you are and where you want to go.

Focus on What You Want

Parents often focus on what they don’t want. I don’t want to remind you about chores. I don’t want you to fight with your siblings.

But when you focus on what you don’t want, you get more of it.

Instead, start focusing on what you do want. Do you want respect? Do you want kindness? Look for the times your teen already shows these things.

Practice Gratitude for What You Have

A secret hack is to want what you already have. If your teen is respectful most of the time, notice it. Be grateful for it.

When you focus on what you want—and what you already have—you change your state of mind. Gratitude makes you stronger, calmer, and more connected.

Want Help?

You don’t have to figure this out on your own.

Whether you’re a parent or a teen, I offer free coaching calls to help you get started.

Book a free call today: https://benpughcoaching.com/mini