#029 How to shift your mindset: Goal Setting

Change your mindset and it’ll change who you are, change who you are and it’ll change what you do. How you think is the key to everything!

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
~ Albert Einstein

3 Simple Mindset Shifts

Towards the end of the year and through January, people start talking about goals and making changes in their lives.

Here are 3 common mindsets that hold most people back, along with 3 simple mindsets that will empower you in 2021.

Desire vs Shame

Do you have any New Year’s goals or resolutions?

This time of year, most people say things like, . . .

. . . “I need to lose weight,” or . . .

. . . “I should stop yelling at my kids,” . . .

Or, . . . “I would be better if . . . “

Sure, self-talk like this can be somewhat motivating. The only problem is, these thoughts create shame. Anytime shame is the emotion motivating our actions, we are limited by that emotion.

Instead of letting shame drive your goals, try harnessing the power of desire. Instead of, “I need,” or “I should,” try . . .

I WANT TO . . . !”

I want to lose weight”

I want to walk up the stares without losing my breath.”

I want to stop yelling at my teen.”

I want to appreciate my teen.”

Can you feel the difference?

Rather than doing it out of shame, you’re doing it for you, out of desire. When it comes to your goals or resolutions, drop the shame. Do it out of love. Do it out of desire for who you want to be.

This will be a powerful example for your teens. This will also help you change your mindset around what you and your teen “need” to do versus what you “want” them or you to do. This will help you drop the shame when parenting.

Who You Are vs What You Do

Most people in the world think in terms of, “What do I need to do to get . . . ?”

We think our desired result is dependent on our actions, which is true as evidenced by the model.

BUT . . .

Who we are determines what we do. So, rather than focusing on what you do, focus on who you are or who you want to become. This will help you think in terms of, “Who do I need to be to get . . . ?”

Have you ever seen people lose weight because they started a diet or exercise program? Most of them have already gained all the weight back.

Have you ever seen people lose weight because they found a pastime that they were passionate about? Now because they love to hike, or ride bikes, or ride horses, or because they got a medical diagnosis they are a completely different person.

Instead of focusing on what needs to be done, explore who you must be to do those things.

This will help you parent with a new perspective. Rather than focusing on what you’ve done “wrong,” you can focus on who you’ve become. Rather than focusing on your teen’s actions, you can better focus on who they are and who they are becoming.

Who you are is the driving force behind what you do.

Be the person that you want to be.

Achieve more in 2021 by doing LESS!

Seems like everyone has a list of things that they want to do in the upcoming year. From improving relationships to losing weight, to making more money.

There’s one problem . . .

We already spend all of our time doing things. Everything that you add to your “To-Do List” will compete for time with all things that you are already doing.

So, rather than focusing on all the new things that you want to do in 2021, rather than coming up with a list of “To Do’s” try identifying the things that you want to stop doing this year.

What are some areas that take up the most time, energy, resources or money? What if you stopped eating out? How much money, time, and health would that save you?

For example, most people focus adding things like going to the gym, starting a diet, or exercising every day. What if instead of adding any of those things, you found something that would accomplish similar or the same results by reducing the things that you do, like ending the practice of eating out.

Our time, energy, and resources are limited. When we try to achieve more by doing more, it often puts stress on one of those areas.

On the other hand, when we start freeing up time, energy, and resources, it empowers you to double your focus on the areas of your life that are most important.

Try it out this year. Here’s some ideas that I’ve done less of in the past:

  • Stop eating sugar, flour, and processed food.
    • I was able to lose 30 lbs in 5 months without dieting or exercising.
  • Stop arguing with others.
    • I was able to save time and feel better towards others.
  • Stop eating out.
    • This one was huge! It helped me lose weight, get healthier, spend better time with my family, and save money!!
  • Stop focusing on the negative/problems/obstacles.
    • This helped me be happier, empowered, and find the opportunities and the positives in the midst of the negative.

Call to ACTION!

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