#048 Loving Your Teen, Starts with Loving Yourself

You don’t have to parent from Shame or Fear!

“Really loving your teens well, starts with loving yourself well!”
—Angie

YOU ARE Capable of Transformation Just Like Angie!

Angie is a mom of 4 and wanted to get coaching to be more intentional with her parenting.

She realized that she was doing a lot of parenting out of either shame or fear. She was worried about what others thought about her and her parenting. This lead to her parenting in an attempt to please others that wasn’t actually aligned with her values.

I wanted to share with you some of Angie’s parenting models that she shared with us on the podcast.

C- Teen’s choices
T- She’s going to ruin her future or chances (What happens this year is final).
F- Fear
A- Nagging, threatening. trying to control her.
R- Negative interactions with daughter

C- Teen’s choices
T- I am a great parent
F- Excitement
A- Pay attention to my kids.
R- A better relationship with my kids.

When parents parent out of fear, they are likely catastrophizing!

I use the term catastrophizing to mean when parents are thinking of all the worst possible scenarios. They are worried that they or their teen are doing something terribly wrong that will have a detrimental impact on their teen’s life.

Catastrophizing always leads to parenting out of fear or shame.

Angie found that if she trusts her teenager, she shows up differently as a mom.

It’s so Important to Develop Confidence As A Parent

it was fun to hear Angie talk about having confidence in her own parenting. She described it as, “Understanding my own values. Working through my own values. Understanding what I believe in, and having the confidence to parent that way, even if it looks different from what other people do.”

If you never take the time to define what your role is, your role probably won’t match the vision you have for yourself.

Many times we think we need to try to control our teens to prove that we’re a good parent., but this is playing by other people’s rules. You’re trying to do what others think is important when it comes to parenting and this will defeat you.

Instead, believe that YOU ARE a good parent.

Angie said, “I’m a great parent by my own standards.” This is all that matters. It doesn’t matter what other parents think about you, parent to your standards and expectations.

When You Define Your Role, You Can Be Intentional In That Role.

Because Angie knows her personal role as a parent, she is able to be intentional with her relationships with her kids.

Often times we feel like we are at the mercy of our teens when it comes to our role as a parent or our relationship with them. Instead, think of a newborn. You love them no matter what. You are choosing to love them no matter what. For some reason, we forget how to do that with our teens.

Teens are just doing their best. Often times they look like adults, and they act like adults, but their brains are not yet fully developed. Keep this in mind when it comes to connecting with your teen.

Call to ACTION!

Stop beating yourself up for your parenting “mistakes”.

Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

This is the first and most powerful step in developing confidence in yourself and your parenting.

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