Most parents fall into the trap of trying to change things from the outside in, this leaves them powerless.

“Most people think money will make them happy. When in reality, being happy makes you money.”
~ Jim Fortin

Times I’ve Tried to Change From the Outside In.

I’ve got to be honest. I am guilty of trying to change things from the outside in. Even with everything that I know, I still find myself trying to change things from the outside in.

Just yesterday, in fact it was probably today at like 12:30 am on the way home from my oldest son’s basketball tournament, I tried to change something from the outside in.

I wanted my son to go to summer football workouts the next morning and he didn’t want to. I tried to change his mind. I tried to help him see that he was missing out on an opportunity to show up when tons of his teammates will be missing football due to the previous late night.

I tried to help him see that this would be a powerful moment for him to demonstrate his commitment to football to his team and his coaches.

I wanted to change him, how he was showing up in football, and I was losing this battle.

I was totally trying to change something outside of myself, hoping it would change something inside of myself.

I thought, if I could just get him to go to football, he’d be a better football player, he’d dominate the game, everyone would know that my offspring is superior in the sport of football, and I’d be proud!

Inside Out vs Outside In

Most people try to change things from the outside in.

In parenting you might try to change your teen, your spouse, or your teen’s choices, all so you can feel better inside.

When it comes to health, you might try to change your exercise routine, your diet, or your doctor, all so you can be healthier on the inside.

When it comes to wealth, you might try to work extra hours, get a new job or win the lottery, all so that on the inside you can enjoy the benefits of wealth.

The problem is, these are all efforts to change something on the outside so you can experience change on the inside.

Often times when you try to change things outside of yourself, you are focusing on things that you cannot control.

The most powerful way to change is from the inside out!

In PARENTING, rather that trying to change your spouse or teen so you can feel peace and confidence, YOU can BE THE CHANGE!
Change how YOU Think, Feel, and Act. These are all internal changes. Change YOU and how you are BEing.

When it comes to health, change who you are on the inside. I AM HEALTHY! Then, live from that place. As a healthy person, . . . I only eat food that fuels my body, . . . I enjoy regular vigorous activity.

See how the change starts from the inside and then radiates outward?

When it comes to wealth, choose to be wealthy. Choose to be generous and helpful. Choose to be intentional with your money. These all start on the inside.

How to Change from the Inside Out

Step #1

As is the case so often, the first step is awareness. WHERE AM I TRYING TO CHANGE FROM THE OUTSIDE->IN?

Discover the areas where you are trying to change from the outside in. Understand why you want to make these changes, how you would feel, and what you would make it mean for you.

Explore the things outside of your control that you are trying to control.

Ask yourself, “Who do I want to BE to achieve this change?”

Step #2

Start BEing the change you are looking for internally with your thoughts and feelings.

Identify the thoughts that don’t serve you and shift your focus to thoughts that do.

Anytime you are looking for change, you want change because of how you think it will make you feel. Practice feeling that feeling NOW! Let that feeling fuel your actions.

Step #3


Practice when it’s easy. Practice when it’s hard.

Practice BEing the change you are looking for.

Practice shifting your focus from the many things outside of your control to the few things within your control.

Call to ACTION!

Join our parenting membership. You can transform yourself as a parent!

Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

This is the first and most powerful step in changing from the inside out when it comes to your parenting.