#056 What are your Parenting values?

Most parents go through life never really thinking about what their values are.

“Whatever you have and do not have is a reflection of your values.”
~ Jim Fortin

What are Values?

Values are your beliefs about what is and is not important. Values are our principles, standards, and priorities.

Values are deep-seated beliefs and ways of thinking that motivate and drive our actions.

Your values live in your subconscious thoughts. Usually, you don’t even know about them, but they still impact your actions and behaviors, such as unconscious habits.

Your values are a way of BEing. You live and express your values subconsciously without even thinking.

Your values drive you.

Your current results and reality are a reflection of your values.

“Whatever you have and do not have is a reflection of your values.”
~ Jim Fortin

What are YOUR Values?

If you’re like most people, you’ve never stopped to think, “What are my values? What values am I going to let drive my life today?”

You’ve probably just lived your life without putting much thought into your values.

If you want to know what your values are, look at your current reality.

Once I claimed to value health. My life chuckled at me later that night when I scooped out an extra HUGE bowl of ice cream. My reality showed me that I valued taste, comfort, and immediate satisfaction over health and delayed gratification.

What is your current reality and what is it telling you about your values?

Are you fighting with your teen a lot? You might value control or being right.

Do you feel miserable in your job? You might value freedom. The fact that you have a job may indicate that you value money and paying bills.

How do you feel in your current relationships? What are your relationships telling you about your values?

Your Values Belong to You, NOBODY ELSE!

Your values belong to you and nobody else. You can’t force your values on anyone else. You can’t expect others to live up to your values, value your values, or meet your needs associated with your values.

Your values are yours.

Many of us share values. Some are outer values like religion, politics, sports teams. Many of us share inner values like integrity, hard work, freedom.

Ultimately it’s your job to live aligned with your values.

It’s nice when people value our values, but that’s not within our control.

I invite you to respect and value the values of others. It doesn’t mean that you have to agree with them or go against your values, just don’t try to change them to embrace your values.

Love languages is a great example of this.

You’re empowered by knowing your love languages. It’s powerful knowing your spouse’s love language. But it’s not your job to meet their emotional needs. It’s yours. Same with values.

It’s Possible to Live Conflicting Values

Sometimes people live with conflicting values. This causes emotional discomfort.

Understand & Choose Your Values

Seek to understand your current values. Look at your current results and reality for evidence of what your values are. When you develop this awareness and understanding, you can develop more intentionality.

When you understand what values are creating your current reality, you can choose if you want to continue allowing those values to drive your life.

You have the power to choose your values.

You have the power to let go of values that no longer serve you.

Recently I chose to let go of my value of Hard Work. I was raised on a farm. I grew up milking cows, hauling hay, and working with large animals. It was hard work. I learned to value hard work. I believed that my value was tied to my ability to work hard.

A few years ago, when I injured my back, I started questioning the value of hard work.

A few months ago I was completely booked solid. I was working hard in my business, but I wasn’t happy. Hard work had trumped my values of Freedom and Family. I had to take a look at my values and intentionally choose which values I would let drive my business.

Some of My Current Values

  • Freedom
  • Family
  • Relationships
  • Personal Growth
  • Service
  • Honesty
  • Faith
  • Kindness
  • Impact and Influence

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